Each victim is assessed, triaged -- categorized. Who is beyond help? Who needs immediate Care? Who can wait? Who just needs a ride? Finding body after body after body.
And, only one survivor. 155 dead. One survivor. Yet all must be checked in the diminishing hope of finding that one.
When it is over, there are the if onlys and the what ifs and the memory of such tragedy.
What follows is emptiness and a 30-year struggle for mental health. And, finding some refuge in writing music.
While your problems may seem pale in comparison, let's admit that what we see and what we do has an impact on us. Whether it is a major event or a never-ending series of smaller incidents, trauma needs a witness.
We can't take it home. Admit weekness to co-workers or worse still? The Brass? So we close off the vents and lash down the safety valve. And, one day, we were all surprised that we are one fewer.
No one saw it coming because we look normal to each other. We carry secrets around inside that hurt us. We don't want them to hurt others.
We often just push down the memories because, we're on to the next call, and there's no time to process them.
Be someone co-workers can talk to. And, find someone you can talk with.
If you can't find somebody, talk to me.